Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My vagina is very pro this idea
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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