I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
