singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
