when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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