I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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