so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
