Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Everything about him screamed your future.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
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Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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