omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
