I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
