FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize