his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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