Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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