there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
