I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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