Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
