Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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