I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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