Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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