I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Sponge bath it is.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
