Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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