I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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