Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
