youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
