i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
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I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
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And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize