I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
