So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
