I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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