it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
