I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
