the new term for farting is butt boxing.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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