He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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