I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
