all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
