Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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