turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
