if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
