Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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