I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
