it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
