The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
