Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
