you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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