Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
