Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I am midnight drunk by noon
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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