I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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