It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
