Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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