ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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