in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
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we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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