Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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