I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My penis needs a shock collar
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
