Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
