i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
