I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
