Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
