I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
