i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
